Attachment

January 9 - February 6

Watch half of Module 1 video material, until 4:01

 

Tuesday, February 6, 5-6:30pm Pacific / 8-9:30pm Eastern

Video call #1a

February 6 - March 6

Watch the rest of of Module 1 video material

 

Tuesday, March 6, 5-6:30pm Pacific / 8-9:30pm Eastern

Video call #1b

 

Module 1 Video

Home Practice, Part 1

  • Check in with your buddy
  • Practice Mother Earth Father Sky short meditation: earth, sky, back, front, right, left, inside, outside
  • Share on the facebook group or listserv about 2 examples of how you are using the principles in your personal or professional life
  • Schedule your personal session

Home Practice, Part 2

  • Check in with your buddy
  • Practice Mother Earth Father Sky short meditation: earth, sky, back, front, right, left, inside, outside
  • Write a list of resources/support in your life -- resources are anything that helps you connect with yourself -- and share a few of them on facebook or the email listserv
  • Start to notice your attachment styles/behaviors and write some notes on what you are realizing
  • Complete 1 personal session if you haven't already (book here)

 

Notes

Characteristics/behaviors of Secure Attachment

Love
Safety
Protection
Accurate Reflection
Fun

Screen Shot 2018-01-04 at 10.17.41 AM.png

Essential Practitioner Skills

Embodied Presence
Clear neutral perception
Tracking self and other people

Attachment Styles in Adults Relationships

This is a brief summary. It presents things in a clinical and fixed way, but we know that attachment styles are more like sets of behaviors, and we often shift styles based on context, relationship, and in our own growth, development and healing.

Secure Adult Attachment

  • Values attachment relationships
  • When conducting what is called the ‘Adult Attachment Interview’ the interview is coherent and objective
    • There is an ease with description of parents
    • The descriptions are supported by examples
    • They are reflective, not idealizing or angry and preoccupied
    • They are at peace and forgiving

Adult Relationships with Security of Attachment:

  • Value relationship and turn to others in times of stress
  • Can be calmed by nurturing, containing experiences
  • Has a strong sense of self competence, explores and problem solves in situations that are challenging
  • Basic trust in others as “being there” for them, at the same time can see when a situation or person may be unsafe
  • Has openness to new information and to changing perspective, is self-reflective

Avoidant Adult Attachment

  • Dismisses idea early experience has affected them
  • Devaluing of relationships
  • Restricted in Feelings
  • May idealize or not remember anything
  • Contradictions may be found

Adult Avoidant Attachment in Relationships:

  • Often stable relationships, where everything is well taken care but there is little deep emotional connection
  • Both partners live in their own lonely world, or one partner complains about the other (avoidant) being unavailable, or uncaring.
  • Doesn’t talk about relationships

Insecure Ambivalent Adult Attachment

  • Influence of parents can neither be dismissed or coherently explained
  • Preoccupied with relationships with parents
  • Oscillates between good and bad evaluations
  • Expresses anger and helplessness
  • Striking incoherence

Adult Relationships in Insecure Ambivalent Individuals:

  • Lack of self disclosure or indiscriminant, overly intimate self disclosure
  • Undue jealousy in close relationships
  • Feelings of loneliness even when involved in relationships
  • Difficulties in forming relationships in new settings
  • Tendency to view partners as insufficiently attentive

Disorganized/Disoriented Adult Attachment

  • Shows evidence that has not resolved past trauma or abuse
  • Has not resolved death of a loved one
  • Incoherent/disoriented
  • Frightened
  • Angry and frightening

Relationships with Disorganized Adult Attachment:

  • Extremely volatile, often marked by domestic violence, mental illness
  • Can be long term yet destructive, or many short term relationships
  • Very confusing descriptions, with a lot of variability
  • Often significant unresolved loss in history, the impact of which is still occupying much of the parent’s emotional and psychic energy

 

On average, just above 50% of adults are securely attached, 20% are ambivalent, 25% are avoidant, and 3-5% are disorganized.

References: Myrna Martin; Amir Levine and Rachel Heller, Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How it Can Help You Find and Keep Love.



Module 1, Video Discussion
Part 1

Module 1, Video Discussion
Part 2